rogerdoger | Entries tagged with dreams

Got back to Rotorua and handed in the overdue library book, then headed over to the campsite. They were all very happy to see me. I can't believe how Charlie seems to have gown in what only 2 weeks I think. She is also acting so much more like a human, pointing at things and being really close to talking. She is also very close to walking. Her first year birthday comes up next month.

Tracey and Kevin have bought a 2 terra bit hardrive and handed it over to me last night. There is something like 500 movies on it! Some of them are favorites of mine and some are ones Id been wanting to get. I copied over about 300 last night.

I hate it when people start saying they have this condition or that as an excuse for what they do. But I do wonder about if I'm getting Altimeres when I forget so many silly things, and I also wonder if I have some sort of ADT. After I copied the movies over I was going to watch one after dinner. But as I'd start playing one Id look over the list and start playing another. I couldn't focus on one movie and kept flicking through just favorite parts and then opening another.

Its absolutely freezing here, at night at least. There's a lot of cloud today, but doesn't look like rain. I might get one last mountain bike in, before I have to break it down and put it away. Crazy, it just rained and now the sun is out!

Such freaky dreams last night. Disturbing might be a better word. I don't remember the first one, but the second had to do with Lisa my ex wife. We had been out late and she got up very early to go to some sort of job. I woke as she was getting up and asked her why bother and to stay in bed. Lisa is very loyal and even though the company treated her like shit, she would never let them down. She was wearing some sort of outfit that lifted her boobs right up and out. There was something about when she came back from this job, but its faded now.

third dream was about two Iranian brothers, they were rich i think, one was married to a pretty Iranian girl, she had cooked dinner, but it wasnt that great, she hadnt cleaned up and had gone to bed with her husband. The other brother seemed to be talking to me and telling me she was rich also and use to having servants in Iran do everything for her. She was trying to be a good wife by cooking, but she really didn't know what to do, or like it. This brother was thinking he should take her away from his brother.

The last one was something to do with being in Florida it seemed. Florida had been under threat of attack and there was a lot of military planes in the area. I was in on some sort of platform 15,000 ft in the air. I ran off and went into a controlled dive like a parachutist would. It was amazing looking down over the land and sea, I could see these military planes and was trying to figure out when I needed to throw out my chute as I didn't have an altimeter.

Finally got an email back from my crazy Japanese Aunt. She isn't in Japan as I thought, and her mother is in Tokyo who she is going to visit at the end of this month. So I guess everything is ok there.

massive storm moved through last night, we caught the tail end of cyclone Wilma, and today its a strange mix of sun cloud and constant really strong winds.

Dream last night was me on a motorcycle, on my BMW GS or at least one like it. I was on a narrow street and got on the bike to ride off, but a bus was parked that I couldn't get past. I rode up a rock wall that started at ground level then went up. As I was passing the bus and about to drop back onto the road the bus started moving so that by the time I got past the bus I was so high on the wall I couldn't jump off back onto the road. I veered off onto the other side of the wall and was sort of stuck.

I keep thinking about this meeting on Wednesday. I don't want to give all the business away to them. I guess I'll only know how its going to play out after I meet them. They maybe totally unrealistic or they maybe really cool to work with and a good opportunity. If I went in with them on all the good locations I want to do, it could be really difficult to get them back out and to get the business myself. I'm also seeing that the printing prices I'm getting from India arnt really that much cheaper than what I can get here. So why are all these companys charging so much for their ad spots? Is there something I'm missing from my costings? This will be part of the benefit's of working with a company that has produced one before, they will know all the in's and outs.

I went looking on HelpX again the other day and came across a woman in Auckland that lives in the same area as my journalist friend which is also the same area as Susan the yoga woman I met the the other day. They all live withing 2 blocks of each other! This woman on Helpx wants someone to help her build some sort of studio in her backyard. Whats interesting is she is a graphic designer and does have map making experience! Ive already been in touch with her and she is asking when am I coming to Auckland.

Dreamt that my Dad posted a personals ad in the news paper for me. But he wrote it sort of in the style of Daniel Defoe with really weird language.

ran yesterday and did the long run. My calves were still screaming in pain and tearing away through these tiny fibers, then the lactate hit in my thighs as I climbed the stairs the continuous hill. I keep thinking my legs will suddenly spring back into life, and probably they will, but I'm not getting very good quality workouts in the mean time.

Saw crazy girl in the kitchen/lounge again last night. We chatted and it was definitely flirty. I left and went to read my book and a few minutes later she turned up with her daughter. They sat with me for a while and we looked at pictures of foreign animals and had some candies that I had. Her little girl got a bit chilly, and I gave her a sweater to wear. Its Cashmere and she cooed and snuggled it. I could get myself into so much trouble here. I'm not in a position to have a girlfriend, least of all a nutty one that smokes and drinks and has 3 kids.

Shantaram is still crap. I'm not so wound up about his lies in the story, as Ive read articles that seem to confirm now that he made most of it up, so at least I can read it as a story. Although he still interjects these thoughts of "Im so bad ass". I sort of see where people think its beautifully written and re confirms that people in general are stupid. Heres a couple of examples.

"What does it take to harden a man's heart? How could I see that place, look at those children, and not put a stop to it? Why didn't I contact the authorities? Why didn't I get a gun. and put a stop to it myself? The answer to that. like all the answers to all the big questions, came in many parts. I was a wanted man, a hunted criminal, living on the run. Contacting police of government authorities wasn't an option for me"

And that bullshit answer crops up a number of times. I love it when people talk about getting guns and fixing things. It's just total bullshit.

And this is an example of what people think is beautiful writing.

"The starving, the dead, the slaves. And through it all, the purr and rustle of Prabaker's voice. There's a truth that's deeper than experience. It's beyond what we see, or even what we feel. It's an order of truth that separates the profound from the merely clever, and the reality from the perception. We're helpless, usually, in the face of it; and the cost of knowing it, like the cost of knowing love, is sometimes greater than any heart would willingly pay."

I duno I just think that's over the top trying to be eloquent and coming out gobbledygook. But people lap it up, kinda like the king with the invisible clothes.

Interesting dream, that I'm already starting to forget. A group of us were making our way through a kind of assault course. We had to get through it and in a certain time. One guy had already made it and was following round with the organizer. The organizer was telling him about the course and explaining that they hadnt even realized they were in a huge indoor arena. They came to the final exit door, but they were dallying around and not even realized it was the exit door and still looking for other clues. Finally when they did realize it was the door and figure out how to open it, it was too late and they ran out of time on the clock.

Next there was some sort of dream about being on a motorcycle with a side car, but I think I was running after the motorcycle. this is all fuzzy now. I remember also my old school friend Mac was in the dream. He was a bit nurdy in school, but now he was sitting all buff with his shirt off and really cute girl sitting between his legs. I knew from his confidence with her he had finally had sex, which when I knew him at school he hadn't! There was also some part of the dream where someone and it may have been Mac was interested in these two girls and they may have been sisters. He picked one and left me with the other who at first I hadn't been interested in, then when I saw her again, she had the most amazingly beautiful brown eyes, suddenly with these eyes she became the most beautiful and interesting person Id ever met.

Did a big mountain bike ride yesterday. 3 hours and not too worn out when I finished, although my legs were really sore. I parked at the lake and rode backwards around the xterra course. I can never find this route if I try to ride the correct way round the course. Backtracking I found my way with a little help from a guy coming the other way. I got onto the dirt path that leads all the way up one of the biggest ridges. It was a really long climb and my legs were hurting. I remembered all the rides I use to do, 6 gap with Jerry, 50mile dirt rides with Tim. I still have a long way to go to be anywhere near back on the form I use to be. Anyway after the big climb I got to run miles of great single track all the way down. I met up with the guy that had given me directions before and he pointed me along a route I could take to get back to the lake. All in all a really good ride.

I finished Kidnapped and Catronia. Every time I picked that book up I was whisked back into a the world of 1756. It was so amazingly descriptive. I love the language they used. It was so funny to read the mess poor Davie would get himself into with just a few miss placed words. And the dialogs of conversation that would lead to a sword fight, or at least the threat of one were just amazing. Sad its finished but excited I get to go find something new today. Ow I wonder if I can join the library, since Im going to be here for a few months.

nightmare last night for the first time in a long time. Guess it doesn't help watching the movie the Fly right before going to bed. The only part of the dream I can remember was being about to undo some tiny screw that controlled something really major from myself and knowing once I took it apart it was going to be almost impossible to put back together again, but also knowing the screw had to be taken out. I then woke with what I thought was one of my not being able to breath attacks. But one gaining consciousness I realized I didn't feel blocked up in my nose and I could breath, I was just sort of not breathing again. this might be part of a sort of cold Im fighting. I have a sore throat, a bit of a cough, but no mucus muck coming out yet. I really should do something about health insurance. Since being in India I did like all the other long term travelers and went without insurance. Its a waste of money. No one is going to steal your shit in India and if you get sick or even if you needed a major operation, its so cheap that you can just take the risk and not get insurance. Someone told me they had their appendicitis taken out and it cost something like $30.

I realize that my dyslexia is making learning the Illustrator program difficult. When I look at the examples on a website and it talks about, click this, drag that, now click this and drag that, then when I switch back to the screen to do it, i've already forgotten everything sometimes even the start point. I wonder if I learn better from a book that I can have in front of me with the screen, or maybe today I'll have a quick try at firing up the other laptop and use that with the instructions and this one to work on.

The other problem is i'm really not putting in the time I should. I had the perfect opportunity yesterday, hell I do everyday. But I fucked around all day didn't even get out of the van all day and still didn't accomplish anything. I finally went out for a swim in the lake and got some pretty good distance in. Wow my back hurt this morning from it. I really love swimming in that lake, but every now and again I still feel a little freaked out at what could be down there. Sometimes the bubbles coming up from my arm strokes will make me go "whoa whats that" or I swim near the shore and can see all sorts of weird shapes from branches and rocks that looks like some slimy creature of the deep. haha but for the most time its an awesome swim and I have to just be adult and remember there is nothing in the lake!

Because I got out to swim pretty late, it was later than normal when I finished dinner. Made for the perfect reason NOT to pull out the laptop and waste my time surfing. So I made up the bed and took my book out. I was really tired and had the lights out by 10.30 and then the cell phone goes off with a txt. I wanted to talk to her, and so I fired up the laptop and logged into Skype. Our conversations are always a little awkward. Partly because she has some trouble with English and partly because she is usually in a noisy internet cafe. We chatted a bit about where she was and what she was doing and same for me. Then she finally started to talk about the visa issue for India. Everytime before she has just said "i dont want to talk about it and think about if I cant get it". Well it turns out the situation is really bad. I did my own surfing last night which again meant I was up till about 1.00am but I found lots of forums talking about the changes in Indian visa rules. This has just happened. Compounded to that Russian single girls are targeted as a high risk and get specially harsh treatment. She has a ticket from Delhi to Moscow for mid April. They will probably allow her to re enter to take the flight, but she is trying to get a 6 month visa so she can stay for some of the time I'm there. While reading all this it also brought up the point that I myself might have problems. I'm not even sure they will let me have a 6 month visa again. As usual with forums the facts get lost in all the crap people post. I can't figure out if the rules have changed to not even give 6 month visas and now they are cut down to 3 months. The problem is that the rule they definitely have changed is once you leave the country you can not return for two months. This is really screwing a lot of people.

So these dreams. First one no surprise after talking to her, was about Elena. We were in some really lovely place, it was paradise. We were sitting together and she went off somewhere and I somehow found out, I think from a message on her laptop sitting in front of me that she was HIV and going to die. When she came back I told her I knew and that I wished shed told me as know I probably had it too. I told her I didn't care about having it that I wanted to be with her and die with her in this lovely place.

Second one was me riding a Harley, humm really strange dream to begin with, like id ever be riding a Harley! Anyway there was a load of us screaming down a highway, going the wrong way down the road and just flying. All of a sudden we came to a really sharp corner and there was no way I was going to make it around or even to be able to lay the bike down without it sliding off this huge cliff edge. So I just rode straight off. The drop was something like that of the Grand Canyon. With my experience from the sky dive I did in real life, in the dream I could really feel the sensation of falling and I knew from talking to other sky divers what was about to happen to my body. Zero chance of survival. So I just gave a whoop as I went over the edge. Kinda nice way to go really.

Ok I really must try to go to Taupo and get the WOF. I think its going to be a zoo down there as the Ironman is going on this weekend.

Air Aisa emailed again, giving me the brush off now about the article, but then I get another email from a magazine Id forgotten Id written to. its a NZ mountain bike mag and now that editor is interested and wants to know what writing Ive done or if not a couple of hundred words of my style. Shit I have to have a style too!