weekend

72.8 weigh in this morning before running! Started to rain on the dog walk and I have an appointment this morning so going to have to skip the run. Im not too worried, I worked my legs pretty hard over the weekend. Extended my run on Saturday and still managed twice round red arrow. Then Sunday with tired legs managed to get on the bike and do my old loop of about 35km.

Had a bit of a weird blow out with R on Saturday night. We went to bed and as usual I read my book which is on my laptop. She use to get mad when I had the side light on and read other regular paper books. She'd fall asleep snoring and wake up shouting “please turn that light off I cant sleep!” Id tell her she was asleep and she'd scream at me that she wasn’t! I mean what do you do in a situation like that? She is asleep and you know she is asleep but she claims she can't sleep? On Saturday night it was similar. Since reading on the laptop she started out with “oh that light is sooo much better” Then on Saturday she is asleep snoring and she wakes up and screams, “I hate that light, please turn it off I can't sleep” I got up to go to the other room and she went mental.

I've come to the conclusion that its not the light she is mad about. How can it be, she is asleep. So it must be something else and what I think it is, is she gets mad that Im not sleeping and we are all romantic and cuddled up or something. What she doesnt get is when she makes up this crap it drives me further and further away from her. Do you want to be cuddling up to someone just because they are demanding it and wont let you do anything else? No and it comes across as desperate and needy, which isn’t attractive to anyone.

I don't know if we will see the councillor again. She is a school councillor who R already knew and when we stopped going a couple of months ago R has pushed to make friends with her. So now I feel the professional relationship is compromised. Ive never told her the full story of how I feel about R and the problems between us, and she never figured it out during counselling.

Anyway after an awkward Sunday things have drifted back to normal and last night I read the laptop book with the light on and she went straight off to sleep and then did wake up and go back to sleep but woke up again and asked me to turn the light off and I did and that was that.